I know I've been m.i.a. for over 2 months now, my apologies, I've just been here, there, and everywhere.
My papers just came today with the information about my return flight. It's such a horrible feeling to now that I have to leave my home to go back in less than 2 months. I can't really describe the feeling, except to say that it's a very unsettling emotion. I'm going to be coming back to what used to be my home, but I've been gone for a year. I haven't seen my parents for a year. I haven't seen my friends for a year. I haven't seen anything in my town for a year. I can't even begin to imagine how everything has changed, especially the people. I know I've changed drastically as a person. Not so much physically as mentally; I feel like a new person. I can't help but wonder how this is going to affect old friendships. I've already seen 2 friends from America here in Germany. One of those meetings went perfectly fine; one was borderline disaster. I don't want to lose friends because of this year, but at the same time, I refuse to turn back into the person I was before I came just to maintain friendships. And then there are the friendships I've made here to take into account. I'm sure that because I moved around a lot as a child, it helped because I knew how to meet people. But still, I'm constantly astounded by how many friends I've made this year and how close several of the relationships are. I've been told by at least 5 people that I shouldn't go home, instead I should "wander aus" (emigrate). It's such a horrible and amazing thing to hear that: to know how great my friends here are, and to know how horrible it's going to have to be leaving them. I would love to stay here and do another year with these people; they're some of the most incredible people I've met. I'm excited to come back and go to college, but at the same time, I absolutely positively do not want to leave here. This is my home. I'm considering what it would be like to stay for another year to perfect my german and then perhaps study at a german university. It'd be a helluva lot cheaper (1,000 euros per year) and to then come back and do my masters in the states. What's also hard is that I keep meeting new people, more amazing people. But the question always looms "when do you actually go back" and I think there's a fear that people don't want to actually take to time to get to know me, knowing I'm leaving so soon. This is particularly hard when I meet new people who I really like and could see knowing for my life or building a serious relationship with, only to hear that, understandably so, it's not what they want, knowing I'll be leaving shortly.
Regardless of all that, I've definitely had the best year of my life, and I'd recommend doing this to a lot of people. I think it takes a certain person to make the year work, but for those that can do it... There's no better experience in life.

So I've been traveling quite a bit; I'll do some quick updates on where I've been.

I just got back from what is arguably the most liberal city in all of the world, and the city with the highest percentage of blood-shot eyed inhabitants: Amsterdam. I went up with a friend from my program, the girl with whom I went to Köln for Karnival. We had a great time in the city. We also had great weather, a little cool but always sunny. We stayed at a little hostel outside of the city in the country that was all little cabins like people attach to their cars to travel with and some hammocks. Very relaxing environment. We'd go into the city everyday and then come back in the evening and just wind down in the hammocks with our iPods. I must tell a quick story though that was something I found absolutely shocking, but in an amazingly good way. I got in on sunday about 3 hours before my friend did so I decided to go out and walk around the city. I went into a little coffeeshop and was sitting down when a father and his two daughters walked in. I would estimate that the older daughter was about 18 and the younger maybe 15 or 16. Seeing as this was a coffeeshop in amsterdam, they lit up a joint. The older daughter took the first hit and then passed it to the younger sister, but she didn't want any so she passed it to the father and they shared it. A little while later the mother walked in, sat down, and they lit up another joint for the 3 that were smoking. The kicker is that they were speaking american english. My friend and I went back to the coffeeshop a couple days later and the sisters were there again so I asked where they were from and she said Long Island. I found it astounding that there are americans who are liberal enough to come to amsterdam with their children and allow them to smoke marijuana, let alone smoke with them. It was very refreshing to see americans in europe who acted as europeans, and not the typical american tourist (side note: I'm so sick and tired of american tourists that when I go anywhere I consider myself a german tourist). But yes, the city was very pretty. We went and walked around the red light district but unfortunately only during the day, as we couldn't get a late bus back to the hostel. There are little doors that have a large pane of glass and there are just women inside wearing a bra and a thong. Men (and women) walk by and decide which one they want and then they step inside and they draw a curtain across the glass pane, very simple. What I found interesting was the various types of women: black, white, latina, tall, short, skinny, fat, muscular. I think there was truly something for every taste. I really enjoyed the trip and the city, but I don't think it'd be a city where I'd like to live.

In march I went up to Copenhagen during my spring break. When my host parents lived in Paris, my host dad worked with a guy and he and his family now live in Copenhagen, so I got to stay with them. Or wait, I should qualify that: This guy's family lives in Copenhagen, he lives there on the weekend. From monday-friday he works in Strasburg, France and then flies home for the weekend. It was really cool though because he is german, and his wife is norwegan but they met while studying in germany at university. They have 2 daughters that speak German with dad, Norwegan with Mom, Danish in Public, and are learning english and french in school (at least the older daughter, the younger one was only 5 or 6). A very multi-cultural, multi-language family. They lived just outside the city, in a beautiful area where the Danish film director Susanne Bier lives (if you saw the Danish film 'After the Wedding' you'll know that's a big deal). The two daughters ride horses and both have their own horses which they store in a community stable near the house. They were only a couple stops with the train from the center of the city though. And the city... Oh my, what a beautiful city. Absolutely, stunningly beautiful city filled with amazingly attractive people who all spoke perfect english with the best accent I've ever heard. Copenhagen is now tied with Paris in my book for most beautiful cities, although paris has an edge because they speak french, which is a much prettier language than Danish (no offense). However, living in Copenhagen is VERY expensive. They take Euros but have their own currency: the Krone. The exchange rate was rougly 1 dollar = 4.5 Krones. Seems like a good deal, right? WRONG! I went to get lunch one day and got a baguette sandwich that cost 45 krones. This was the price I saw everywhere for lunch, so I was fine with paying it (I didn't know the exchange rate at this point). I asked to pay in euros and the girl hit a button on the cash register that converted 45 krones into a little over 6 euros. A little over 6 euros is about 10 dollars. OUCH. Also, to buy a car in Denmark is very expensive because they are all imported. My hosts told me that a car price in denmark is 100% of the car's value + 180% of the cars value + 50% tax (I'm fudging on the 50%, I can't remember exactly what it was, but regardless, a car there is VERY expensive). Needless to say, EVERYBODY bikes, walks, and rides the metro/buses. I got to go visit the Mermaid on the rock. She's quite small, but very cute. You have to pity the poor thing though. She's been draped in muslim dress and head scarf to protest Turkey joining the EU, she's had her arm sawed off several times, she's been decapitated numerous times, and (my personal favorite) blown off her rock with dynamite. But she keeps chilling on her rock after all that. Legend says that after a couple hundred years she'll turn back into a person. Only time will tell...

Well I think I'm going to wrap this up. I can't promise any more updates, but I'll try and get better at posting something.

I hope everybody is doing well.

Yes, I'm still alive.
I'm horrible at updating this thing, and it's about 5am but I wanted to update a quick cultural quirk.
First of all, Happy Easter!
Now for the quirk. Okay, so I went out tonight to a club in Mannheim. Totally normal, saturday night, just happens to be the night before easter. So we get there around 11, and walk in and the place is still warming up. Then the lights come on, and they ask everybody to leave the dancefloor. My friend that explains to me that from Thursday at midnight until Saturday at midnight, there is a no-dancing law. Yes, a LAW. So until midnight, nobody was allowed to dance. I heard at some other clubs they put tables on the dancefloor to keep people from dancing. Just goes to show that Germany is actually, surprisingly, still religious. This came as a surprise to me, I must admit, considering how incredibly liberal Germany is compared with America - to have dancing forbidden because of a catholic holiday. I could imagine something like that in Italy, with the Vatican there, but Germany surprised me. Nonetheless a good time was had.
Well I'm off to Copenhagen on Monday for a week. I promise to do a full update and post some pictures when I get back.
Time is absolutely flying here. I can't believe it's almost April.
TERRIFYING!

Come July, I know that I am NOT going to want to come home. But I refuse to think about that... :)

Köln aka Kölle aka Cologne

I went this past weekend to Köln (that's Cologne to those of you who don't know German spelling of German cities) to celebrate Fasching und Karnivale. From this weekend I concluded two things:
1. Köln is the only city in Germany where I can see myself living.
2. It was the best weekend of my life.

Now first of all, I want to clarify that I had no school on Monday or Tuesday, so I wasn't skipping and I'd like to give an explanation of Karnivale und Fasching. Fasching ties into Easter. It is always 6 weeks before easter, and it always falls on a weekend. It is typically the last weekend when one can eat meat and everything before giving it up for lent. Although, in today's day and age, it basically translates as an excuse to drink. Thus the Karnivale aspect comes in. Yes, Karnivale like the Karnivale in Brazil, just a little different. Everybody wears costumes that range from your basic witch and devil to the most elaborate costumes imaginable (and everything in between). The people then party from Thursday (Fastnacht) until Monday (Rosenmontag - and they party all monday and into tuesday). On monday there is a huge parade that goes through the city of Köln (think of the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade) and the people on the floats/cars throw candy out (like mardi gras but without the flashing of breasts). People go on monday and stand along the parade route with umbrellas and turn them inside out (think of a really windy, rainy day and how your umbrella always manages to get blown up forming that cone that does nothing to shelter you from the rain) and use them to catch the candy thrown. And on that note, it's not really candy but rather packages of candy, as in full boxes of chocolate. Needless to say, injury is a plausible possibility and I was almost taken out by a green, flying box of chocolates (and by the guy's umbrella in front of me who tried to catch it - and failed, might I add). So yes, that is Karnivale and Köln is the mother city of Karnivale (Seriously the city goes into Karnivale mode and the stores shut down).

Here are some highlights from the days I was there. I went up thursday night with some german friends for FastNacht or Schmutziger Donnerstag and then came back friday morning. This was my favorite costume from that night.
I then returned on saturday afternoon and met up with a friend of mine from my program whose one host brother lives in Köln. It was perfect because we got to stay with her brother and go out some with him and then go out during the day while he worked. SO here is the day by day breakdown:
Saturday:
-Seeing Miss Alex Cabral after too many months
-Walking around Köln, observing the insane costumes
-Realizing that Alex and I think too much alike, unhealthily alike
-Chilling w/ her brother and speaking german
-Going out to a place that played 'black' music a.k.a hip-hop
-Realizing, once again, that not all europeans have discovered the wonders of deodorant. This is particularly offensive when they are dancing excessively.

Sunday:
-Eating some amazing pizza
-Going out with Alex
-Seeing how much the people of Köln dislike the people of Düsseldorf (while standing in line at the place the 4 people behind us said something about being from Düsseldorf at which point the bouncer called out "UH OH WE'VE GOT DÜSSELDORFERS!" and while driving on the autobahn around Köln you won't see any sign that Düsseldorf is only 40 km away. Apparently the tension is due to the fact that Düsseldorf is the capitol of the Bundesland - like a state - but Köln is a bigger city.)
-Lots of dancing
-Seeing the Amy Winehouse drag queen AGAIN

Monday:
-Saying "Let's get up at 9am" and getting up at 12
-Going to watch the parade
-Getting absolutely soaked while watching the parade
-Eating more delicious italian food
-Doing the macarena in the streets of Köln
-Going to a place that looked just like it belonged in South Beach, Miami (very disorienting when you're in germany and keep thinking "Wait, this looks like Miami...")

Tuesday:
-Getting up at 9am (for real this time)
-Walking around the streets of Köln (very reminiscent of Philly to me, in terms of size and feel of the city)
-Getting a BAGEL, yes, our first american bagel in 6 months
-Starbucks, twice
-Deciding to take a later train home so I could enjoy another couple hours of the best city in Germany: Köln.

The Dom - So amazing when you think about the fact that the entire thing was made by hand hundreds of years ago.

Some guy dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. I saw a lot of people dressed as him but this guy's costume was flawless - so elaborate.

A lot of the floats have political or social meanings like this one, which is criticizing the recent German smoking ban in public places showing the people forced to stand outside in the pouring rain to enjoy their cigarette with their bier.

And finally, a picture of the bridge coming into Köln - best city in DE.

I went to a little going away party last night for this girl that's in Germany with AFS from Malaysia because she leaves this weekend. She was here for the year program, but for some reason, it started last february and went till this january. But it was a few towns over, and in taking the 3 trains I had to in order to get there, I ended up taking a train that went by Edenkoben, which is where I lived for the month with the family that just didn't work out. Passing by was kind of weird. It was the first time since I've switched that I passed by the town. I feel like most people would be bitter after having such an experience, after living with such a family and going through everything but I can honestly say that I'm not. Yes, I got manipulated and it was a hard thing to go through. I can say that at the time I felt completely deflated, crushed, and to blame for it all. But looking back on it now, as bad as it was at the time, I'm really glad I went through it (sounds kind of sadomasochistic right? But no). It definitely made me a lot more calm and I can say that I'm not as quick to get worked up because it made me realize that so many things are not nearly important as people think they are and it's completely pointless to get so worked up over it. I think that, had I landed in a family where I fit right from the beginning, I wouldn't have learned that. It was something I had to go through. Though I will admit that, after leaving the family, I cut off contact, simply because I didn't know what they thought of everything and how they perceived me because of it. There is a german version of Facebook called SchülerVZ, which I'm on in an attempt to network, and the daughter of the family I switched from sent me a message on it saying "It's a shame you didn't keep in touch, how's everything going for you now, etc." So I replied saying how good it was to hear from her, how sorry I was for the way things happened but glad to see that she wasn't upset, how things were going better now and asked how things were with her and the family. That was November. I still have yet to get anything back. I'm not sure if it was an attempt at manipulation or an attempt to guilt me that backfired or what, but again, I'm not upset by it. It really does upset me that things didn't work out and that everything ended up playing out how it did, but again, it's simply what happened. There's nothing I can do about it now and I've come to terms with the fact that what happens happens. You can't change things, only keep them in mind for the future. I know that's a terrible cliché but it's one of those life lessons that you're always told but rarely live.

And now time for a little political talk. As I'm not living in the US, I definitely feel removed from the political scene, which is really heating up now. But I read my NY Times diligently online and try to keep myself up to date. Looking at the democratic race you have 2 strong candidates: Hillary and Obama. I am partial to Hillary because I think it's time America had a female president and, on top of that, she has more years in the Senate than Obama and she was in the white house for 8 years. During that time, she didn't lay around eating bon-bons and watching the daily soaps, nor was she just a first lady to the president, appearing with him at public appearances as nothing more than a trophy wife, presenting a façade of the "perfect" american marriage. She took action in the white house. She was the one who tried to institute a universal health care plan. She got torn down by the republicans in power at that time and was told not to speak of it again during Clinton's presidency. [Going on a tangent, I have nothing but respect for Bill Clinton. He was the best president our country has seen in a long time. A strong democrat, not only did he improve our international relations but he brought our country up out of a deficit and into a surplus, one which has now been squandered into a trillion dollar deficit, financing... well, you know. Yes, Clinton did have his little sexual affair, but in the scope of things, is it really that much of an issue? Has anybody else noticed that the politicians who condemn anything other than a man and woman in a marriage are usually the ones that turn out to be guilty of much more and are nothing like what they preach: such as pedophiles, or homosexuals soliciting sex from boys on the internet or men in airport bathrooms? But I digress.] I have a theory as to why America is afraid of having a woman as a president. American politics is essentially male dominated, so there is the sex card to play - and that's exactly why. Children are raised almost always by their mothers, even when both parents are living together, it's typically the mother that rears the children. Thus when men grow up, and are forced to respond to a woman in power, they feel inferior; they feel as though they have lost their power and are regressing to the state of being a child where their mother told them what they were and were not permitted to do. Obviously, no man wants to relinquish his power, and thus Hillary Clinton's votes are confined to women, and liberal men who are comfortable with a woman in power. Sadly, the rest of American is still too conservative to grant a woman power. Unfortunately, this isn't just in America: it can be seen in France too. The French elected Sarkozy just last year (2007) and I'm not a fan of him at all. And over whom did they elect him? Ségolene Royal - a strong, independent woman and member of the socialist party. And what is Sarkozy doing now? Attempting to turn Frances economy into Americas? Becoming good buddies with Bush? Divorcing his wife and marrying his model girlfriend of only a few months? All of the above? Yeah, nice pick, France... It really makes me curious to see if this sexism is one of those things that will never change, or will future generations truly work towards equality? I guess only time will tell.

And on another note, it rained yesterday for about, 30 seconds and was a TOTAL downpour but the sun was out so I thought, hm, there must be a leprechaun around here looking for his pot of gold. I looked out the window and sure enough I found what I expected.

2008?!

Well, Happy New Year! I am fortunate enough to say that I truly celebrated the new year in the best way possible: in Paris! I got to visit my friend, Andrew, from America who is spending his year studying in Paris for 6 days. My schedule looked a little like this:

Friday: Arrive in Paris, stroll the Champs-Elysée, get french food, get looked at as though I'm crazy by the waiter after ordering 3 appetizers and no entree, walk across the bridge, over the Seine, to the left bank, take pictures of the Eiffel Tower in an epileptic fit of lights, take the metro home.

Saturday: Wake up, eat a baguette/croissant, head out, meander through the city, visit Montmarte, Moulin Rouge, Sacre Couer, et Les Deux Moulins (the café from Amelie), meet Andrew's friend who was in Paris for only half a year and was heading home, take her and her luggage to the train station, meet up with another friend of andrew's for her birthday, go out to dinner in the Latin Quarter and then a local bar, catch the last metro home.

Sunday: Wake up, meet said people from the night before at the Jardins Luxembourg for a little while, sit and watch people, say goodbye, walk around Saint German de Prés, head home, get ready to head out, take the metro out, enjoy Paris at night, take the first metro home, sleep.

Monday: Wake up very late, walk around for a little while, head back home, finalize plans for New Years, catch the 11pm metro towards the Champs-Elysée, get stuck on a PACKED metro, get off at the Louvre and walk from there (it was faster, I swear), discover that the Champs is like Times Square for Paris, observe the people, drink champagne, avoid obnoxious drunk people, head to a little café for drinks, back to the Champs to walk towards the 1st Arrondissement, have a few drinks in a pub, take the first metro home, sleep.


Tuesday: Wake up very late, loaf around the apartment watching TV and putting pictures on the internet, make dinner, get ready to go out, metro out late, meet some germans, early metro home, sleep.

Wednesday: Wake up late, relaxing day of just walking around and hanging around the apartment, eat my last meal (steak frite), pack, and get no sleep because of bad sleeping habits.

Thursday: Cry myself to sleep on the train leaving Paris (just kidding).

Honestly though, I've decided that my goal in life is to live in Paris. I know this seems somewhat redundant as I'm currently living in Germany for a year but, there's just something about Paris, a certain je ne sais quoi, that is amazing. It's like New York City but better (I know, is that possible? Yes, it is). I just know it's where I want to be. Also, as of January 1, 2008, there is no smoking in restaurants and bars in Paris. I'm not how I feel about this. I know smoking is terrible for the health, blah blah blah and I can understand not wanting to smell smoke while eating but, there is that image of paris, of people in a smokey café eating croissants and drinking coffee and just isn't there anymore. And for bars and nightclubs I am of the firm belief that it should be the choice of the establishment and its patrons whether or not smoking is permitted inside. I wasn't sure if this ban would just be a giant joke but I can say it's not. Every place I saw after the 1st had no smoking signs and when we went out that night the bouncers told us before we were allowed in "No fumer" (no smoking). Interesting. We'll see what happens.

Well, I am exhausted. It was a wonderful 6 days and I can't think of a better way to have wrung in the new year. I hope 2008 will be as amazing as it promises to be!

A few more pictures. Because I didn't get to have a thanksgiving dinner on thanksgiving, I volunteered to make one for my host family for christmas eve. 6 hours in the kitchen turned out pretty well. Here is me with the remnants of my turkey (it was delicious).

Well I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Here are a few pictures of my (reasonably) new surroundings.
The first picture is my favorite and the building is actually full of tobacco and the slats on the side can be opened to air and dry the tobacco out.
And the second picture is my German Advent Calendar: a little gift of candy each day.