I went to a little going away party last night for this girl that's in Germany with AFS from Malaysia because she leaves this weekend. She was here for the year program, but for some reason, it started last february and went till this january. But it was a few towns over, and in taking the 3 trains I had to in order to get there, I ended up taking a train that went by Edenkoben, which is where I lived for the month with the family that just didn't work out. Passing by was kind of weird. It was the first time since I've switched that I passed by the town. I feel like most people would be bitter after having such an experience, after living with such a family and going through everything but I can honestly say that I'm not. Yes, I got manipulated and it was a hard thing to go through. I can say that at the time I felt completely deflated, crushed, and to blame for it all. But looking back on it now, as bad as it was at the time, I'm really glad I went through it (sounds kind of sadomasochistic right? But no). It definitely made me a lot more calm and I can say that I'm not as quick to get worked up because it made me realize that so many things are not nearly important as people think they are and it's completely pointless to get so worked up over it. I think that, had I landed in a family where I fit right from the beginning, I wouldn't have learned that. It was something I had to go through. Though I will admit that, after leaving the family, I cut off contact, simply because I didn't know what they thought of everything and how they perceived me because of it. There is a german version of Facebook called SchülerVZ, which I'm on in an attempt to network, and the daughter of the family I switched from sent me a message on it saying "It's a shame you didn't keep in touch, how's everything going for you now, etc." So I replied saying how good it was to hear from her, how sorry I was for the way things happened but glad to see that she wasn't upset, how things were going better now and asked how things were with her and the family. That was November. I still have yet to get anything back. I'm not sure if it was an attempt at manipulation or an attempt to guilt me that backfired or what, but again, I'm not upset by it. It really does upset me that things didn't work out and that everything ended up playing out how it did, but again, it's simply what happened. There's nothing I can do about it now and I've come to terms with the fact that what happens happens. You can't change things, only keep them in mind for the future. I know that's a terrible cliché but it's one of those life lessons that you're always told but rarely live.

And now time for a little political talk. As I'm not living in the US, I definitely feel removed from the political scene, which is really heating up now. But I read my NY Times diligently online and try to keep myself up to date. Looking at the democratic race you have 2 strong candidates: Hillary and Obama. I am partial to Hillary because I think it's time America had a female president and, on top of that, she has more years in the Senate than Obama and she was in the white house for 8 years. During that time, she didn't lay around eating bon-bons and watching the daily soaps, nor was she just a first lady to the president, appearing with him at public appearances as nothing more than a trophy wife, presenting a façade of the "perfect" american marriage. She took action in the white house. She was the one who tried to institute a universal health care plan. She got torn down by the republicans in power at that time and was told not to speak of it again during Clinton's presidency. [Going on a tangent, I have nothing but respect for Bill Clinton. He was the best president our country has seen in a long time. A strong democrat, not only did he improve our international relations but he brought our country up out of a deficit and into a surplus, one which has now been squandered into a trillion dollar deficit, financing... well, you know. Yes, Clinton did have his little sexual affair, but in the scope of things, is it really that much of an issue? Has anybody else noticed that the politicians who condemn anything other than a man and woman in a marriage are usually the ones that turn out to be guilty of much more and are nothing like what they preach: such as pedophiles, or homosexuals soliciting sex from boys on the internet or men in airport bathrooms? But I digress.] I have a theory as to why America is afraid of having a woman as a president. American politics is essentially male dominated, so there is the sex card to play - and that's exactly why. Children are raised almost always by their mothers, even when both parents are living together, it's typically the mother that rears the children. Thus when men grow up, and are forced to respond to a woman in power, they feel inferior; they feel as though they have lost their power and are regressing to the state of being a child where their mother told them what they were and were not permitted to do. Obviously, no man wants to relinquish his power, and thus Hillary Clinton's votes are confined to women, and liberal men who are comfortable with a woman in power. Sadly, the rest of American is still too conservative to grant a woman power. Unfortunately, this isn't just in America: it can be seen in France too. The French elected Sarkozy just last year (2007) and I'm not a fan of him at all. And over whom did they elect him? Ségolene Royal - a strong, independent woman and member of the socialist party. And what is Sarkozy doing now? Attempting to turn Frances economy into Americas? Becoming good buddies with Bush? Divorcing his wife and marrying his model girlfriend of only a few months? All of the above? Yeah, nice pick, France... It really makes me curious to see if this sexism is one of those things that will never change, or will future generations truly work towards equality? I guess only time will tell.

And on another note, it rained yesterday for about, 30 seconds and was a TOTAL downpour but the sun was out so I thought, hm, there must be a leprechaun around here looking for his pot of gold. I looked out the window and sure enough I found what I expected.

2008?!

Well, Happy New Year! I am fortunate enough to say that I truly celebrated the new year in the best way possible: in Paris! I got to visit my friend, Andrew, from America who is spending his year studying in Paris for 6 days. My schedule looked a little like this:

Friday: Arrive in Paris, stroll the Champs-Elysée, get french food, get looked at as though I'm crazy by the waiter after ordering 3 appetizers and no entree, walk across the bridge, over the Seine, to the left bank, take pictures of the Eiffel Tower in an epileptic fit of lights, take the metro home.

Saturday: Wake up, eat a baguette/croissant, head out, meander through the city, visit Montmarte, Moulin Rouge, Sacre Couer, et Les Deux Moulins (the café from Amelie), meet Andrew's friend who was in Paris for only half a year and was heading home, take her and her luggage to the train station, meet up with another friend of andrew's for her birthday, go out to dinner in the Latin Quarter and then a local bar, catch the last metro home.

Sunday: Wake up, meet said people from the night before at the Jardins Luxembourg for a little while, sit and watch people, say goodbye, walk around Saint German de Prés, head home, get ready to head out, take the metro out, enjoy Paris at night, take the first metro home, sleep.

Monday: Wake up very late, walk around for a little while, head back home, finalize plans for New Years, catch the 11pm metro towards the Champs-Elysée, get stuck on a PACKED metro, get off at the Louvre and walk from there (it was faster, I swear), discover that the Champs is like Times Square for Paris, observe the people, drink champagne, avoid obnoxious drunk people, head to a little café for drinks, back to the Champs to walk towards the 1st Arrondissement, have a few drinks in a pub, take the first metro home, sleep.


Tuesday: Wake up very late, loaf around the apartment watching TV and putting pictures on the internet, make dinner, get ready to go out, metro out late, meet some germans, early metro home, sleep.

Wednesday: Wake up late, relaxing day of just walking around and hanging around the apartment, eat my last meal (steak frite), pack, and get no sleep because of bad sleeping habits.

Thursday: Cry myself to sleep on the train leaving Paris (just kidding).

Honestly though, I've decided that my goal in life is to live in Paris. I know this seems somewhat redundant as I'm currently living in Germany for a year but, there's just something about Paris, a certain je ne sais quoi, that is amazing. It's like New York City but better (I know, is that possible? Yes, it is). I just know it's where I want to be. Also, as of January 1, 2008, there is no smoking in restaurants and bars in Paris. I'm not how I feel about this. I know smoking is terrible for the health, blah blah blah and I can understand not wanting to smell smoke while eating but, there is that image of paris, of people in a smokey café eating croissants and drinking coffee and just isn't there anymore. And for bars and nightclubs I am of the firm belief that it should be the choice of the establishment and its patrons whether or not smoking is permitted inside. I wasn't sure if this ban would just be a giant joke but I can say it's not. Every place I saw after the 1st had no smoking signs and when we went out that night the bouncers told us before we were allowed in "No fumer" (no smoking). Interesting. We'll see what happens.

Well, I am exhausted. It was a wonderful 6 days and I can't think of a better way to have wrung in the new year. I hope 2008 will be as amazing as it promises to be!

A few more pictures. Because I didn't get to have a thanksgiving dinner on thanksgiving, I volunteered to make one for my host family for christmas eve. 6 hours in the kitchen turned out pretty well. Here is me with the remnants of my turkey (it was delicious).

Well I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Here are a few pictures of my (reasonably) new surroundings.
The first picture is my favorite and the building is actually full of tobacco and the slats on the side can be opened to air and dry the tobacco out.
And the second picture is my German Advent Calendar: a little gift of candy each day.

I realized something today:
Whenever I'm watching german TV or movies, I understand more when I don't really focus on it; when I just sit there and take it all in, it makes sense. When I actually pay attention and listen and listen to the sentences, I realize I don't understand much. And I think it's kind of funny, ironic almost. It's like the paradox of life. If you focus completely on something, the you're only looking to understand something, a small part. But when you sit back and just take it all in, not focusing your attention to one detail, everything presents itself. And only then can you understand.

At long last...

I am alive. I swear. So you may, or may not, have noticed my absence on here. I'd like to end that absence now and start by saying:
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I'm incredibly jealous of the fact that you are all eating turkey and watching the MACYs day parade and some football (and if you're not watching, at least you have the capability to watch). This post is most likely going to degenerate now into my rambling thought process but just go with it. Ignore the lack of cohesiveness.
SO! what has happened in the last month since I've updated this. Well, I left my language camp and went to what was to be my host family for the year. That didn't work out too well. The family wasn't right for me and it was just a bad situation that progressively got worse so I had to switch families. This meant that I went and stayed with an AFS volunteer for the first weekend. She lived with her "mann" - not husband - just over the border in France and they had 2 kids one of which was a daughter my age who was in the US last year. Mom spoke german with the kids, dad spoke french, they all spoke french together, and the kids crossed the border every day to go to german school. I then got picked up and went to stay with another AFS volunteer woman who is actually the head coordinator for this region. And I ended up staying with her. They looked for another family but there really wasn't anything that was a good match so I'll be here for the year. Should you like to send me any love, my address is now:
Am Hainbach 5
67373 Dudenhofen
Germany (duh)
The woman has two sons, both of whom were in the US for a year but both are now in their 20's and don't live at home. She and her husband are nice though, so I think it should be a decent home for the year. Now through all this I never really started school. When I went to what was to be my host family for the year, they had 2 weeks of fall vacation and I arrived just as that began. Then I went to school there for a week, but I was told to shadow for the week, and then pick my own classes. However, after that first week was when I left. Then, whilst staying in France, I went to school with the daughter in germany but again, only shadowed. I then came here, what's now my permanent home, but didn't start school because I was waiting for a new host family and it was pointless to start school, make a schedule, and then not know how long I was going to be there for. So I've been sick the past few days with a cold and I'm just starting to kick it now but I went in to the school where I'll be going today and picked out my classes. The german school system is very confusing, a lot more like college in the US. I will do my best to explain it but if you get lost, no worries. So, there are 6 main periods in the day, and then 4 additional periods called "afternoon school". Afternoon school is only for students in the 11, 12, or 13th grade. In the 11th grade you pick 3 courses that you will specialize in and make your "Abitur" in. The Abitur is at the end of the 13th year and it's your "get out of high school" exam. The grades you receive on it dictate what University you can go to and what profession you can go into (for example, you need basically straight 1s=As if you want to go into medicine, if you don't get those grades, too bad so sad). Now, it's perfectly normal to have periods where you don't have a class. So, what to do then? Answer: whatever you want. You can leave and come back, nobody cares. You don't show up for class, nobody cares about that either. Very few teachers collect/check homework so not that many people do it. My school has a special area for kids who smoke. It's outside, obviously, but on school grounds and school sanctioned nonetheless. I find this hilarious. The high school here is a lot like college in america in the fact that it is what you make it. It's not like high school in america where you've personal relationships with teachers and they care about you and remind you to do your work, look after you, etc. So I would try and explain my schedule but that would require a spreadsheet and some serious footnotes. So the simple version is that I'm taking English, Math, and History as my main 3 with Biology, Spanish, German, and Ethics as my additional classes. My ethic class is actually a religion requirement. All students have to take a religion course and there's a catholic one, an evangelical one, and then "ethics" for those of a different religion. My "afternoon school" alternates depending on the week. I have A week and B week. A week is wonderful, B week has me in school until 5:30 on 3 days. I'm not pleased. The more I consider it, the more I like school in america. As annoying as it can be, getting up at 6:00 and coming home around 3, but at least you're in school the whole time. You've got 30 minutes for lunch, and a little break in between classes, but you're almost constantly engaged whereas here classes are only 45 minutes, not every day, and you have these random pauses. I don't know, maybe it's just me.
I must say, I have never missed or loved America more than right now. As much as I am to disagree with the political situation and certain leaders, I do love America. We can be an incredibly dumb and bass-ackwards nation, but it's a place I'm glad I can call home.
So yes, I have been getting little bouts of homesickness - particularly when I had to change families and again now as it's thanksgiving - but either way, I'm glad I'm here and doing this.
So I actually was with this woman for about 3 weeks before I found out I was to be staying here and thus started school. So, what did I do with all that time? College applications of course! They're quite frustrating really. It seems like such a long application and so much work, and then I think of how few people get into some of these colleges, and it makes the applications seem so short. How can I possibly convey who I am in one essay and 2 or 3 short questions? And then to have to pay to apply, just for an absurdly small chance of being accepted, and if I am, to then have to pay a ridiculous amount of money each year for 4 years to get an education. It all seems a little out there. I was toying with the idea of staying in Germany for college as it's much cheaper (1,000 euros per year - and people here complain it's expensive!) but the US really has the best universities that the world has to offer. So I'm just about done with my apps and will send them in soon. And then I have to wait until April. Stressful, but, oh well.
Hm, I'm trying to think if there's anything else to fill people in on.
Oh, I went to Berlin for a weekend and it's a really nice city. It's definitely the new york of germany but a lot more spread out and with nature. That's right, not just central park nature, but lots of trees and parks everywhere. I saw a fox walk across the road at night. That's right, a wild fox, in the middle of Berlin. You gotta love it. I miss the skyscrapes of american cities in comparison to european ones. Part of what screams "CITY!" to me are buildings that I really have to crane my neck back to see the top of and in Europe, for the most part, you just don't have that.
I've realized that germans don't really understand sarcasm or the concept or a joke. I "joke" a lot meaning I'm a sarcastic person. Germans don't understand this so I've been forced to renounce my membership to the Sarcastic Pessimists of America Club. They still send me their newsletters though. (A german wouldn't find that funny...)
It snowed the other day, a few times actually. It was nice big white flakiness but nothing stuck to the ground. I still acted like a little kid on christmas morning. Speaking of christmas, as thanksgiving doesn't exist here I'm already seeing adds for christmas and it's making me a little sick. I just want some turkey!
The food is getting better. Nutella and bread is a wonderful breakfast, despite what anybody says.
Well I think that's about it. I still haven't found a website where I can upload my pictures except for facebook but I don't want you all making facebook accounts because that'd just be creepy. So I'm still on the lookout but at this point I've got too many pictures to be uploading them all so if I find something I may just upload pictures from this point on.
My german is really coming along. Speaking english is getting progressively more difficult. I'm actually losing my fluency in english as I gain my fluency in german (so you'll have to excuse my english mistakes). I have to think harder to speak english than I do to speak german. Or rather, when i attempt to speak english, unless I focus, I throw in german words. I can understand just about everything that's said to me and speaking is going well, it's just a matter of building vocabulary but now that I'm starting school it shouldn't be a problem.
The simpsons is even funnier when you get to watch it in german. I'm not sure, just something about Homer feeding his stomach a pizza as though it were a face and then yelling at Bart to "Geh weg!" that rings hilarity to me.
Oh, and the US economy really needs to start shaping up because this exchange rate is killing me...
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the holidays!
love
thomas

So, it is with great regret that I inform you that some europeans have yet to discover the wonders of a strong deoderant. I discovered this the other night in the Disko. Side note: Germans call their nightclubs "Diskos" (short for "Diskotheka") - I'm not sure how I feel about this, it still seems a little too reminiscent of the 70's. Oh well. Nonetheless, german Diskos are quite the experience. I've never been a fan of clubs in the U.S. Typically they open between 9 and 10pm and then close by 2am (a few are open till 3am but it's rare). I've never understood this. I don't eat until 8 or 9, factor in time to digest, shower, dress, and get ready to leave and it's soon 10:30pm. Then, by the time you get to the club, it's 11 - granted most people don't show up until 11 or so, and then leave around 1-1:30, which to me is way too early. Now, clubs here, excuse me, "Diskos" here do not open until 10/11pm. On friday I met a few american friends in the city (one from my language camp, two other CBYXers, and a german) at 10. Then we went to a bar and hung out there for a while. We left the bar at about quarter after midnight and got to the club around 12:45. It was NOT at all crowded. It didn't fill up until 1 or so, and was in full swim by 1:45. It started to empty out around 3, and we left a little after 4. What I found funny was you could tell it was emptying out, and people were leaving, but the dancefloor remained just as crowded. All the lookers and bar-flys had left. Unfortunately, the music was too inconsistent to be really enjoyed, but it was a good time.

I'm in my last week of language camp now. I don't know that I've learned a lot in the language camp, but I definitely feel as though I've honed my skills a bit more, and I've done a lot more work with the preterite (which makes a lot more sense in german than it does in spanish!). It's been a fun class though. There are a few people I'd be perfectly content to have them not be in the class (does that make sense? Did I mention I feel my english getting worse every day?) but for the most part it's a fun group of people. I'm going to miss a few of them a lot actually. But that's now until friday, I don't want to dwell on it now!

Göttingen is a cute little city. It's too small for me but it's been a lot of fun for the last month. As far as where I'm going next... Well, it'll be interesting. I'm just a little unsure of the whole small town thing, but we'll see how it goes!

It's weird, I'm not at all homesick. The thing I miss more than anything is my food. It's not that german food is bad, it's just lacking - and I don't know what it's lacking but it just is. Also, my current host family has NOTHING in the way of snacks. I found a good mexican and a good chinese restaurant in the city and I've bought cashews to satisfy snacking urges, but it's just not enough. I've definitley lost weight here. But I'm going to my next family soon, so once I'm there I'll be able to sit down and say "Look, I love to eat, here are my favorite things. Please stock your kitchen and I'll gladly cook for myself." I also miss that: cooking for myself. My current family has a kitchen the size of a dinner plate. Add that to the lack of food, and you have one hungry thomas. Another thing I miss, math! And reading! We tried to read "Das Parfum: Die Geschite eines Mördes" in my language camp but it was WAY too difficult. People in my class with siblings said it was the equivalent of what american students would read in AP English. Needless to say, we only read the first 4 chapters. Today we got "Der kleine Prinz" aka "Le Petit Prince" aka "The Little Prince". I'm actually really excited to read that. I also bought "The Golden Compass" in german. I read the first chapter; it's a little difficult for me but I'm going to give it a try. I also want to brush up for when the film comes out. I can't wait! But I miss being able to read a book - to really read it and pick it apart. Thus I asked my parents to send me a few books to read. I'm excited to get them. But yeah, no homesickness. Sure, I miss my parents and my friends, but, not really. I don't feel any NEED to see them. I guess that's good, makes things here easier. I bought the first season of Will and Grace in german... Oh yes, it's wonderful. Luckily I know most all the episodes my heart, so I can hear the german versions. Very interesting. And neither my host brother nor my host sister had ever seen it! So we watched a few episodes the other day and they both really liked it. Yes! Score one for the american. But yes, I miss cooking, american food (I'd kill for a cheesesteak from Jim's), reading, and Hannah (I miss that little black devil!). Though I must say, I've found the german equivalent of cheesesteaks: Dönerkebabs aka Döners for short. It's a giant pita pocket, cut open, they put two different sauces on each side, then carve lamb off a giant spit and stuff it in, then put some lettuce, some cabbage, some onions, and a tomato, ET VOILLA! Delicious.

Well I think that's about it for now. It's raining again, it didn't today, but it did all day the past 3 days and now it's starting again. Lovely german weather. I hope all is going well back in america. I'll post my new address on here soon so you can all send me american snack food and books! (I jest... partially)